My parents got married in a Catholic church. That is likely why they took me to a Catholic church for the majority of my childhood. I don’t hate them for it. But it does explain some of why I’m fucked up.

But it was a habit.

Custom, culture, etc., et cetera. Every Sunday morning. Fuck. I wanted to be playing video games. Now I have trouble playing video games.

It’s kind of stupid. Actually, it’s very stupid. See, I haven’t made a game recently. So am I allowed to play games? Again, this is like banning a novelist from reading. The exact opposite of what makes good art. Or even bad art. Or art.

Well, that’s a lie. I have been playing games. Not "real" gamer games, of course. Mobile (wheeze) gacha (barf) games. Get daddy his fainting couch.

But I do. Every morning I open up a game, log in, get the dailies. Do this and that during the day. Numbers go up. Brain releases chemicals. Feels good.

I’m actually embarrassed to say what some of these games are. But they are fun. Well. Are they fun? Or do they take up time as I march forward towards death?

Remember that RPG I was working on? I have not opened the file in weeks now. Why? Fear. But I do have a habit of playing shitty little mobile games every day. Why am I afraid to build up the habit of coding a bit a little every day?